For anyone who wants to compare...

Thought I would share my old blog - this is the blog I started four years ago when I was pregnant with Sydney Kate. There are ultrasound pics of Sydney Kate on there - I'm not sure if I would say they look alike - however both have big cheeks. Anyway, enjoy memory lane...

www.ervins.blogspot.com

Yawning...

Sucking his thumb...

His little hand up by his mouth...

Lips and Mouth Open

4D Ultrasound...

I know it has been awhile since I've blogged last...good reason I promise! My computer was hit by lightening about a month ago. Granted we are lucky to have Todd's laptop from work but it is just not the same as my Apple computer. I'm the first to admit I'm totally spoiled with my computer - sorry to all you PC users but its just not as fun to work on this computer so I haven't been:) Another reason is because our computer is located upstairs in our playroom - which has been so HOT! Turns out we need two new air conditioning units. Plus we need a new roof. Plus as I mentioned in the above our computer, printer, and tv were hit by lightening. Please someone tell me why everything happens all at one time!! I will say we are extremly lucky that our insurance is covering the roof and all the electronics (everything except the air units). Anyway, all that to say sorry I've been a terrible blogger but I'm almost back. I should be getting my new Apple computer in about a week.

So today I'm 33 weeks pregnant. Went to have the 4D ultrasound - you have to pay for this ultrasound but I needed reassurance everything looked good with our little guy. Plus I really wanted to see how big he is - because he feels huge!! However the lady wouldn't measure him saying this was just an ultrasound to see his face:(

His face is really cute...but I think all mom's might say that...especially when you see a little face pushed into a small location and hope for a clear picture. I think he's cute but you can laugh if you need too:) One thing is for sure - he has big lips and likes to suck his thumb. Click on the above photos to enlarge.

Enjoy our first pictures of Elijah Joseph Ervin...we will be calling him Eli.

Tonsil surgery and more...

I'm behind - I'm always behind these days in everything!! My most serious problem today is being behind in cleaning my house - I'm pretty sure we might all get swine flu from my bathroom floors. I use to be such a clean person - what has happened to me? Is it that my personality has changed since becoming a mother? Or am I just tired of cleaning up after everyone in my life? Maybe I should be more servant minded. Yes I would love to be in the mindset of thinking "I'm a stay at home mom so I should serve my husband and my family by cleaning our home." SORRY - its just not happening these days. I still love my husband and my daughter but they need to pick up their own underwear like I pick up mine. Can I get an amen!

Sydney Kate had surgery a week and half ago - had her tonsils removed and ear tubes once again. Poor child couldn't hear a thing - she kept telling me her "ears didn't work" and I kept thinking I was parenting wrong because my child would never do what I told her to do until I said it VERY loudly (some may call this a scream). She did great with surgery and of course was extremely pumped about eating popsicles everyday. The doctor told us to not let her play hard for at least 7 days - well that lasted about 7 hours! Surgery didn't deter her love for all food or for fun all the time. I'll share a few photos of our surgery day and then day three. The first picture is day three - she was so sad she couldn't go to school - so we had a picnic at the park. The second picture is when she came back to us after surgery - the last picture is before she went into surgery.

27 weeks pregnant this week! Just failed my glucose screen and so lucky me I get to go on Monday to take the 3 hours version. If they take away my Raisinetes I will be so sad! Say a little prayer Monday morning that I will pass this time around. I'm still measuring two weeks early - so I'm really thinking this little guy will be here sometime at the end of July. I already feel huge. I will post some pics of my pregnant self in my next post. Also I need to write a post about one of the books I mentioned a few posts ago - can I just say AMAZING and a must read for everyone. And believe it or not its not the Brennan Manning book (although I liked his book too). But more of that later....

Easter at the Beach...

We had such a relaxing time at the beach - and celebrating Easter at the beach was awesome! We spent our days building sand castles in the sand and swimming in the pool ( note to all readers the pool was so cold but that didn't seem to bother my child). I for one would have loved to have spent more time in the hot tub but thought I better not boil the baby boy - so only my legs were lucky enough to soak in warmth. We celebrated easter by going to a short easter service on the beach... then to a breakfast buffet... and then to an easter egg hunt - complete with the easter bunny and face painting. A wonderful weekend of rest, reflection on Jesus, family time and good food:)

Blog slacker...

For many weeks now I have had several blogs written in my mind but none of them have actually made it to the blog. I'm sure they would have been greatly entertaining writings of my uneventful life the last few weeks. The fact is I suffer from a defect that has plagued me my entire life....Procrastination. I have a list of things I want to get done and by the end of the week I look back and realize I only checked off one item - something crazy boring and mundane - dishwasher unloaded...check! So all the other 100 items on the list have either been forgotten or I simply chose to take my daughter to the park or take a nap.

Two weeks ago Todd and I went out for a date night (aka night without the 3 yr. old). It doesn't happen as often as we would like but when it happens we savor the moment. We did our usual dinner and a movie - after the movie we went to the bookstore - which I haven't done in a while. I felt extravagant for a minute and bought two new books. I didn't buy them at half.com or the used book section of Amazon. Nope - I went all the way and paid full price and enjoyed every minute of not feeling guilty for my purchases. For some of you this may be a surprise I'm trying to spend more wisely - save more money- clipping coupons - etc. But the point here is I needed (okay wanted) these books and I wasn't waiting seven days for them to arrive in the mail. I'm pretty sure you all need to also make these an upcoming purchase - so far both of these books have been amazing! Can I just say new book by Brennan Manning (The Furious Longing of God)- I should be naming our first born son after this man - I love his honesty that much. Side note for those who took that comment seriously ... no we're not naming our son Brennan although it is a cool name:) And the second book is by Ron Hall and Denver Moore titled "Same kind of different as me" - a biography of how these two very different men meet and how God works through unlikely people. I was told by a friend I had to read this book - thanks Lauren - I love it so far.

Still pregnant - 22 weeks down and 18 more to go!! I've been feeling like an old lady lately. At this early stage of my pregnancy I'm having some major back pain - I'm talking nothing takes the pain away except for laying down. My husband is tired of massaging my back - however I will say he hasn't complained once when I've asked - thank you Todd. I've become best friends with my heating pad and well I'm tired of being laid up like some old lady! Finally, today I went to the doctor and I've been referred to a physical therapist who I'm told can make miracles happen - I'm calling her as soon as I finish writing this blog. I guess I should add in order to write this blog I had to prop myself up with a pillow and unbutton my pants...what a wonderful visual!! On top of the back pains I've got another wonderful sinus infection. As I waited in the doctors office this morning I thought I might get mobbed by all the new moms with their newborn infants in strollers as I coughed for 30 minutes straight with germs flying through the waiting room. I told my doctor I was lucky to get out alive this morning. If looks could kill I would be dead!! i guess I should have taken a bottle of water with me instead of that Caramel Latte I was sporting.

Well more to come later.... I have lots of spring pictures to share of SK! Coming soon....

Big News....

So today we had the big ultrasound - making sure all was well with this little one. We have four chambers of a heart, a good looking brain, and according to the ultrasound tech a long legged little BOY!!! I figured this little one would be tall (fits in good with this family) but since we are 3 for 3 with girls I wasn't really expecting a little boy. Of course we are both thrilled and just excited to be continuing on this pregnancy journey. All is good right now (I am 18 weeks along) just continue praying!! After the ultrasound today I felt like 20 pounds had been lifted - not that we are finished by any means - but something about seeing that little baby moving around so freely and healthy took away the anxiety I've been wrapped up in for 18 weeks. I expect there will still be moments of anxiety - all pregnant women have the scary thoughts and times - but the covering and all consuming anxiety I pray has just been removed.

Well we think we feel safe enough to tell Sydney Kate tonight - everybody keeps asking her what's in mommy's tummy and I keep telling her I've eaten too much (which I have:) ). I guess it is time to come clean and let her know the real truth. I'll let you know that reaction! I hope she's up for a little boy following her every move:)

I'm off to take a nap - my favorite hobby these days! love you all!

Being 33 and pregnant...

I told my doctor yesterday that this pregnancy is making me feel old! Maybe I am old? I did just turn 33 last week - although its always comforting to know I'm still much younger than my husband. Seriously, I was dealing with some major anxiety last week with this pregnancy. To me I had entered the danger zone - the 2nd trimester. Yea, I know this is suppose to be the time you feel better but in my case this is dangerous time. I didn't have an appointment last week so I was lost in my own thought and did terrible things like goggling miscarriages and how to determine if you are still pregnant. Google can be a very dangerous place for the mind to travel.

Thankfully, I went to the doctor yesterday and heard the best sound ever - heartbeat! All seems to be good except my teenage looking skin (thank you hormones), my stomach looks as if I'm 20 weeks - seriously this baby is causing me major clothing crisis on a daily basis. I'm so not looking forward to maternity clothes - nothing yells old maid like those terrible huge shirts. However I'll take it all for the outcome of a precious little baby.

My favorite story of the week: I was putting on SK's rain coat so she could go to school. As I was pulling down her shirt sleeve I accidentally scraped her arm. She yells "Mommy don't hurt me - I'm PREGNANT!!" I said you don't know what pregnant means and she said yes I do because you were pregnant last summer at the water park (she remembers this because I couldn't ride the big rides with her and daddy). And then she tells me "I'm pregnant and soon I'll be having a baby puppy."

The best part is we haven't told SK about my pregnancy yet - and really don't expect to tell her until we feel a little bit safer. However, I was unaware that she knew the meaning of the word pregnancy. So I've been openly telling people I'm pregnant in front of her - and she has said nothing! Here I thought I was keeping some big secret from my 3 year old and all along she remembers information from last summer!! We're still not telling her even if she thinks she already knows. Smarty Pants:)

Pledge of Allegiance...

In honor of our new president I thought I would allow my daughter to share her patriotism through her new skill of saying the pledge of allegiance. Isn't nice to know that our children are at least still learning things like this at school...

Limiting caffeine...

If you know me at all you know that I start every morning with at least one cup of coffee - if not two. Then after dropping off Sydney Kate at school you can often find me at Panera Bread (pretending to work) and drinking yet another cup of java. And on a particularly good night you might even find me cruising through Starbucks drive through window ordering a low fat carmel Latte. In all accounts some of you might really think Jenn is addicted to caffeine - the drug of the century! I like to say I'm addicted to what makes me happy - coffee makes me happy and therefore I drink it a lot! All of that to say coffee is on the back burner these days - no craving for it. In fact I can't even think about making it in the morning anymore - and even typing that makes me sad. I guess this is how I'm announcing to those who don't know - I'm pregnant once again! I'm a little anxious about putting that announcement out there for all to see. Every time you say it or tell someone it becomes a little more real. We are so happy to be going down this road again but after two miscarriages there's something that tells you to hold back. Hold back from the reality that you really are experiencing this once again - hold back from having the normal expectations of pregnancy. I keep asking myself when I'll feel safe in this whole journey and I'm pretty sure the answer is the due date for this little one - August 4th.

If you know me deeply you know that at times I can be a master at "walling" up my emotions - if I don't feel then it won't hurt. I find myself there many days as I walk this pregnancy journey. I wake up in the mornings and wonder in my head if I still feel sick? Does my stomach look bigger? Am I tired? I'm starting to think that these anxious feelings leave me more drained than the actual pregnancy. I try to fill my thoughts with truth from God's word but to be honest even looking at truth reminds me this is real and maybe I should just try to make it to the next day then maybe just maybe this baby will be okay. I wish I could say I've been pouring over scripture for this child but really all I seem to be able to do is whisper little prayers throughout the day - Lord please protect this baby. So here we are - almost 12 weeks into this thing - and still a very long way to go. I get to see this little one every two weeks via ultrasound - thanks to my doctor who is doing everything possible to decrease my anxiety - last week this baby was enjoying all kinds of room to kick and punch - what a miracle it is to watch something so small moving around inside of you.

Hopefully, this post gives you a clue as to why I haven't posted anything since Thanksgiving. I just couldn't post this news and I'm not really sure I'm ready today. But no matter how anxious and scared and out of control I feel - I know God is in this and for some reason today I know for sure I'm carrying a little life inside of me and for a brief moment I'm okay in the unknown of the ending.

So pray for me - pray for my family that has to deal with a hormone filled pregnant woman who is now limiting her caffeine intake to one a day...

Thanksgiving...

Well I decided there is no better way to say Happy Thanksgiving than to have my 3 year old do it for me. In case you need translation she is singing "Pilgrims and the Indians ate together...." I'm pretty sure you can get the rest.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Samford University Homecoming...

Ten years ago I graduated from Samford. Sometimes it seems like a million years ago and other days it is like yesterday. I had a lot of fun reconnecting with old friends and seeing faces of people I haven't seen since graduation. Which by the way is so weird to see girls that you lived with for 4 years and feel like no time has passed. The only difference was the fact that most of them had multiple children running around their legs. One confession that needs to be shared - I went to the ZTA house to look at our composite picture and guess what I saw? My hair style is exactly the same as my senior year in college!! Apparently, it is official I have fallen off the style chart. Why hasn't anyone mentioned this to me - why is it that the guy who cuts my hair hasn't informed me of new styles? Oh well I guess the good news is that I looked pretty much the same as 10 years ago - no gray hair yet and I still feel 21 years old... even though I'm obviously not. By the way I sure missed my dear friends Brooke and Shawna! So girls here are a few pictures for your enjoyment of Samford 10 years later. By the way that is Todd and Sydney Kate riding in the hotair balloon - a fun Homecoming event!

First Ballet class...

I took ballet as a child - I'm pretty sure they kicked me out. If they didn't kick me out I'm sure they meant too! I guess I have always been a basketball player at heart much to my mother's dismay. She always wanted the girly girl and I never quite fit that profile. My child is tall like her mom which automatically makes me think I might have a basketball star living in my home. Maybe to my dismay my dream of basketball stardom may never happen for SK so today we're living in the moment - living with a little ballerina. Maybe just maybe I've been blessed with a child that has rhythm - as long as it is not a requirement to have mother/daughter dance recitals we're in ballet for now. Plus the best thing ever is seeing a little round belly poking out the leotards... it doesn't get any better than that folks!!!!

A few pictures to share...

Thought I would share a few fall pictures of us at the Pumpkin Patch and of course our "Scary Spider" that loved Halloween this year!! Click on the pictures to make them bigger....

Race for a Cure... goal completed!!

We did it!! Ashley and I ran in the Race for a Cure this Saturday and it was AWESOME!!! There were over 10,000 runners - and thousands more cheering us on. We completed our 5k run in 35 minutes - we were so proud of us. Did I mention we are not natural born runners? This was our very first race and now we are hooked. The adrenalin rush was amazing - I felt like doing a little touchdown dance at the finish line. This race can also be so emotional seeing all of the breast cancer survivors walking around in their pink shirts - seeing the memorial signs for so many other women. The statistic is 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Very scary and very real to lots of families.

After the race we were treated with free Panera Bread, Starbucks coffee, and yogurt. This race knows me - all my favorite things! To top off my day I won a gift card to Academy Sports - they picked my number out of 10,000 other participants.... what are the chances?? Great day - Great run - Ran with purpose - With my Best friend beside me! You can't get any better than that. Put it on your calendar now and join us next October.

Mrs. Linda...

This Saturday I'm running in The Race For A Cure along with my best friend Ashley - this is a race to raise awareness and money for breast cancer. I've been to this race many times over the years. Sadly never to run but to volunteer - or should I say mandated to volunteer when in college. I always hated getting up so early - I was tired - it was freezing cold -and I was made to be there. However the attitude starts to change when people start arriving at the race. Breast cancer survivors walking around everywhere with a sense of accomplishment... a battle well fought. As you survey the crowd you also notice an overwhelming sea of baldness. Women who are engaged in the battle of a lifetime. You also see men and children walking around holding signs that read "My mom is a survivor" or "My wife is a fighter". Even as a very selfish and self absorbed college student I knew I was surrounded by strength and faith I knew nothing about - I was in awe of these women and brought to tears by the battle scars of this cancer.

I decided to run this race after my miscarriage in August. This race became a goal... something I could control. I controlled how much I ran and how long. I controlled my training schedule - even controlled the actual sign up for the race. The miscarriage was anything but under my control. Okay so you get the point this race and the training process was all about ME. Again I was self absorbed about my issues and that is where my mindset has been as I have trained for this race. Until two weeks ago.

When you run in the race for the cure you wear your race number but you also can choose to run in honor of someone and write their name on your number - a survivor of breast cancer, someone who died of breast cancer, someone who is battling this cancer, etc. I've know since August I was going to run in honor of Mrs. Linda - who is a 8 year survivor of breast cancer. Mrs. Linda and her husband James work with me at the Alabama Baptist Children's Homes. They are the house parents for the homeless shelter I supervise - we call it the Family Care Program. I have worked with Mrs. Linda running this shelter for seven years. Together we have encountered so many interesting women and have heard almost every heart wrenching story there is to hear. We have experienced heart break over ladies who choose not to make wise decisions and we have experienced pure joy over ladies who change their lives and are no longer homeless - they have a chance.

Mrs. Linda is a gentle lady - very wise - very caring - a care taker. God has gifted her to be a teacher. She teaches me something every time I see her. She teaches me to serve my husband, to cook new things, she encourages me to continue when things seem hopeless. Most importantly she teaches ladies who have been given up on - the ladies in our shelter who have never experienced a mother's love. Mrs. Linda finds joy in the simple things of life - others are drawn to her.

So on Saturday I'm running for Mrs. Linda.

Two weeks ago she found out her breast cancer has returned. Tomorrow she will be having surgery with chemo and radiation to follow. All this falls on a planned retirement In November. This was her time to be free from anything that hindered and to travel the country with the man she loves. Instead she will be battling for her life... battling this cancer once again. Pray for Mrs. Linda. Pray God would overwhelm her with His love. Pray for healing.

This Saturday has become a lot less about me and a lot more about other people. Suddenly this week fatigue in running wasn't an option - its not an option for Mrs. Linda to feel too tired to receive chemo - so now running isn't about me or for me... it is for Mrs. Linda.

More pictures from our Arizona birthday trip...