July 29, 2010

The month of July...

This month I watched my little ones grow up a little more. Sydney Kate turned 5 years old and my baby boy is now one year old. I sit back and wonder where in the world this year has gone... it seems like a blur! I guess everyone says "time flys" but you don't realize how fast it goes until you blink and your infant turns one and your little girl starts school. Crazy! In some deep place I'm excited for the next stage of life - a little more freedom. Not as tied down to my house as you are typically with a baby. Although I'm quite sure I motivate with my children more than most. They go and do with mom as much as possible - Sydney Kate is a pro at interviewing the homeless ladies at my job and Eli has been the most go with the flow baby I've ever met.

But there are things I will miss from the past year. I will miss my little girl always being at my side - always with something to say and always asking "why" things are the way things are. Sydney Kate starts school is two weeks and although she has attended Mother's Day Out since she was one years old this is very different for me. In two weeks she will be gone all day long - she will spend more time with her teacher than she will with her mom. I will miss the ballet dancing after rest time - I will miss my hugs/kisses - I will miss my buddy who always suggest we go to the mall to shop (not because she likes to shop but she knows if she gets me to the mall then she can ride the carousel - Smart Girl!). The nonconformist in me hates the fact that our family will now revolve around a school schedule - no more sleeping in and no more taking vacations when we please. I think Sydney Kate will do so good in school but I'm really worried about her parents.

Eli has been a calming spirit in our house this year. He is such a peaceful sweet baby. I am grieving my baby boy growing up - maybe it is because I believe he is my last. My little one was never really "little" in everyones eyes but he was to his mamma! No matter how big he gets I'm quite sure I'll still try to pick him up and make him kiss me 20 times a day. Eli hasn't started walking yet - he crawls really really fast and cruises around the furniture (which makes him laugh). There is nothing better than walking in his room in the morning and seeing my big blue eyed boy smiling - waiting patiently while sucking his puppy paci. I will forever be in love with his blonde curls, blue eyes, and fat rolls on his legs!!!!

Happy Birthday to my two beautiful children!! I have come to understand over the years that motherhood is not for the faint at heart. It is hard - sometimes more than you think you can handle but somehow you push through. Somehow God intervenes when you know you screwed up everything and yet your children still hug you and love you. It makes it worth it all - in fact it comes close to giving us a picture of how God loves us. We screw up and He loves us - he hugs us - he redeems us - he gives us another chance to be better. My children do that for me on a daily basis... what a love we are given as parents... we get chance after chance and they still come to us to keep loving them.