August 7, 2011


It has been eight months since I've posted anything here - I've posted a lot in my mind - meaning I've written several posts in my mind but they never made it to the keyboard. This Sunday afternoon I have left my house and secluded myself in the corner of Starbucks for one purpose - to update this blog (and drink a Carmel Latte). I kind of think this last eight months deserves a "theme" and really there is only one theme that has resonated with me over this year - "Faithfulness". Sounds simple right? It might even seem spiritual. What does faithful look like? I can tell you this theme is not based on my actions or beliefs over the last year - if it were based on me I should have titled this "Fearful".

So last January it was made clear to me that life as we had become accustomed to was ending - not such a bad thing really but not a pleasant transition. As many in this wonderful economy Todd's business had started to decline over the last year - and in January the end was very near. Todd received his last paycheck from his business last January - Ah so now you see a bit of the struggle. So from January until June we had very little income actually entering our bank account. January I walked into my boss's office (at the time I worked about 20 hours a month) and before I could get out the words I need more hours she said before we talk about your clients I have to ask you is there anyway you can work more hours?? Faithful provider. So after that I worked 32 plus hours a week - Todd stayed at home with the children three days a week and I worked three days and two nights. Social workers aren't known for making big money - but what was provided paid our house payment and most bills. Over the years we have maintained a decent savings account - but also over the last year of our business we poured our own money into the business to keep it going - so we did have some savings left but not nearly enough to provide for us for a long stretch of time. In fact when Todd received his first paycheck in June (so 6 months later) we had only a few hundred dollars left in savings. Again I say Faithful Provider. I didn't know we would be taken to our very end but it is very clear to me God knew.

Turning the corner... In June we became part of new company - we are partial owners in conjunction with a company located in Paris, France. New opportunities - New Fears - New Challenges - and more opportunities for God to show up in our lives. In July we opened up another company with old friends - this time with more wisdom - more knowledge - and lots of humbleness. This is new ground. It is exciting and really scary. We make little to no money - but its working?? We have been blessed over these months by having others provide for us... Checks from family members at just the right time (they never knew their timing was perfect)....a box of clothes for Eli - so no need to buy spring/summer clothes... More hours at work.... A paycheck we didn't expect. So that's why this post is titled - FAITHFULNESS. There were many nights I would be rocking Eli to sleep wondering why things turned out this way - doubting - questioning - and beating myself down for things I did or did not do. And then I would be reminded through song and I would sing to my boy as we rocked... hoping I would remember this tomorrow and hoping he would remember this for life:
"Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!