Real world happening with brain dead mom...

Found this picture... I don't know this woman but somehow I think she captures the whole idea of being half alive - and maybe a little brain dead like I feel!


I feel like I'm back to the "real world" - last week I was functioning at half capacity but this week I'm having to make up for the last two weeks I wasn't willing to engage the world. Although as hard as I'm trying to keep it together - it never works out! This morning was suppose to be Sydney's first dentist appointment. I totally forgot! Never even crossed my mind!! The bad part is the dentist called me yesterday about 4pm to confirm. I didn't even call back to reschedule today - what do you say? Hi this is the brain dead mom who didn't bring her daughter in for her appointment. Maybe my brain will reappear but I'm not counting on it to happen anytime in the near future.

Over the last two weeks I've been keeping my mind occupied - I've read one book and I'm working on second. I read the first fiction book that I've read in years - The Shack. I don't want to go into theology with this book - I know there are a few things that are a little off - enough said. All I need to say is this story was exactly what I needed two weeks ago. I cried because I was so immersed in the story and also because I was reminded over and over how much love God has for me. I highly recommend this book. I'm now reading - My beautiful Idol by Pete Gall. Basically, Pete tells his story of how messed up his life has been... or I should say he acknowledges the messiness of living and experiencing God in all of it. I love books like this... reminds me a bit of Blue Like Jazz. This is not a neat and clean Christian feel good book - this book is edgy and raw - which is how I like it. I can't recommend the book as of yet - I'm only half way through. I try to make it a point to never recommend until I've completed the book ... I've been burned on this before.

I guess the moral here is I'm trying to enter back into the world. Not doing such a good job but living none the less.