Beach pictures...

Went to the beach a month ago and finally posting a few pictures. I would like to blame it on the fact that my wireless router died but I guess I could have plugged straight into a connection - but honestly I was being lazy! Enjoy...

First day of Kindergarten...

I'll just say it - I totally cried when Sydney Kate got out of the car yesterday to walk into her first day of Kindergarten. I was so nervous for her - worried that someone would not take care of her needs like mom - not sure I was ready to admit that my baby girl was old enough to attend "real" school. Back in the day I would have laughed at seeing some mom cry when she dropped off her child - not anymore - these emotions are real and in some weird way it changes things forever. We are on day two of school and I'm still wandering around my house like a lost puppy. I would have thought I would be celebrating my new found freedom - instead I find myself hating the silence. No Disney music dancing in my head all day - no playing babies all morning - and no one asking me constantly what we're doing next. I miss it - I really do - and I'm sad because I know it doesn't go backwards they just keep growing up. So while me and little Eli wander our house in search of sissy... she is loving life! SK got in the car yesterday with a ton of things to tell me about - she loves her teacher - she made all these new friends - she's the tallest one in her class - she didn't even get in trouble (her words not mine) - she carried her own lunch tray and didn't drop it - she ran really fast in her new fast running tennis shoes - she wrote her name with a perfect "K" in Kate - she was the cutest one because she had on pink (her words not mine).... I could go on but I won't for the sake of the size of this blog. My little girl loves Kindergarten but the best part to hear about yesterday was - "Mom I had fun but I really missed you today - I don't want to watch t.v. because I want to spend time with my family". She will always have my heart even when I move her into college.... I'm pretty sure Kindergarten might have been the easiest transition yet... in that case maybe I should start praying now for my emotional overload in 12 years (high school graduation) - heck maybe I should just start praying about dropping her off for first grade - only one milestone at a time is all I can possibly handle!

The month of July...

This month I watched my little ones grow up a little more. Sydney Kate turned 5 years old and my baby boy is now one year old. I sit back and wonder where in the world this year has gone... it seems like a blur! I guess everyone says "time flys" but you don't realize how fast it goes until you blink and your infant turns one and your little girl starts school. Crazy! In some deep place I'm excited for the next stage of life - a little more freedom. Not as tied down to my house as you are typically with a baby. Although I'm quite sure I motivate with my children more than most. They go and do with mom as much as possible - Sydney Kate is a pro at interviewing the homeless ladies at my job and Eli has been the most go with the flow baby I've ever met.

But there are things I will miss from the past year. I will miss my little girl always being at my side - always with something to say and always asking "why" things are the way things are. Sydney Kate starts school is two weeks and although she has attended Mother's Day Out since she was one years old this is very different for me. In two weeks she will be gone all day long - she will spend more time with her teacher than she will with her mom. I will miss the ballet dancing after rest time - I will miss my hugs/kisses - I will miss my buddy who always suggest we go to the mall to shop (not because she likes to shop but she knows if she gets me to the mall then she can ride the carousel - Smart Girl!). The nonconformist in me hates the fact that our family will now revolve around a school schedule - no more sleeping in and no more taking vacations when we please. I think Sydney Kate will do so good in school but I'm really worried about her parents.


Eli has been a calming spirit in our house this year. He is such a peaceful sweet baby. I am grieving my baby boy growing up - maybe it is because I believe he is my last. My little one was never really "little" in everyones eyes but he was to his mamma! No matter how big he gets I'm quite sure I'll still try to pick him up and make him kiss me 20 times a day. Eli hasn't started walking yet - he crawls really really fast and cruises around the furniture (which makes him laugh). There is nothing better than walking in his room in the morning and seeing my big blue eyed boy smiling - waiting patiently while sucking his puppy paci. I will forever be in love with his blonde curls, blue eyes, and fat rolls on his legs!!!!


Happy Birthday to my two beautiful children!! I have come to understand over the years that motherhood is not for the faint at heart. It is hard - sometimes more than you think you can handle but somehow you push through. Somehow God intervenes when you know you screwed up everything and yet your children still hug you and love you. It makes it worth it all - in fact it comes close to giving us a picture of how God loves us. We screw up and He loves us - he hugs us - he redeems us - he gives us another chance to be better. My children do that for me on a daily basis... what a love we are given as parents... we get chance after chance and they still come to us to keep loving them.

Sydney Kate's Dream...

My precious daughter is a very vivid dreamer. Many nights I find her sneaking up beside my bed to announce "Mommy I've had a bad "dweam". So there are a few "dweams" I feel it is important to write down - there are not many things that make you laugh at 3am but this particular dream was priceless.

Here's our conversation at 3am:
Mommy I had a bad dweam (complete with tears and all) - and I need to sleep with you. Sydney Kate tell me about your dream. I dreamed I was a waffle and Ashley Aimes (a friend from school) put me in the toaster.

Maybe it was bad to laugh out loud in front of my crying 4 year old but I couldn't help myself - one thing about my Sydney Kate she will be forever giving me things to write about - she has a very special way with words.

A few new pics...

Okay I've been terrible about updating the blog - so much going on and little time to update the blog. So eventually I'll get around to posting about Sydney Kate's K-4 graduation, Sk first missing tooth, Eli is crawling, beach time, etc. But for tonight I hope these pics will give you an update of my cute little people. My friend Shanda took these when she was in town a few weeks ago. Enjoy and I promise I'll get back to blogging in the very near future!!!

This boy melts my heart....

Our family on Easter...

My 8 month old...

My precious boy - he is truly one of the happiest babies I've ever been around. He smiles at everyone - he goes with the flow no matter his mommy's crazy schedule. Eli's newest trick is to flash a big smile at those who pass to show off his first two teeth and then wave at them. He's so big everyone thinks he's so much older- who wouldn't at a whopping 24lbs. - more to squeeze! I love him so much and he brings so much joy to our family. Here's a few recent photos to show off our 8 month old enjoying this great Spring weather.

Theology reminders from a 4 year old....

During an afternoon shopping trip to TJ Maxx Sydney Kate found a small prize in the toy section that she really wanted. When she asked if she could get it I told her I would make that decision at the end of our shopping trip - if she was well behaved I might buy it. During our time of shopping she was the perfect child - Yes Ma'am mommy - I love you Mommy - You are the best Mommy in the world - I love your new hair cut - Am I being a good helper.... the list of "good" things goes on. So towards the end of our shopping trip I said to Sydney Kate... "You have been such a good girl today - I wish you were this good everyday even when you don't want a toy." Sydney Kate replied, "Mom, I'm not Jesus! He was good all the time but I'm not him."

Theology 101 from my four year old! My response: You're right we will never be perfect - I'm not Jesus either!

Marguerite Harvey Tucker February 29, 1924 - February 13, 2010

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound…

We sang this song at her funeral – it represents a life of a woman who imitated this hymn to those who were blessed to know her. She was not the type to go around “sharing her faith” as we might typically think about evangelizing – she shared her faith with love and action –she shared it by living out her life loving others as Christ loved her. As a child I remember going to Charleston to spend a few weeks with my Nanny every summer. I would play outside all day long with my cousin Kelly – but we always made it back to Nanny’s porch for some love and food. She would be there waiting for us on the big porch swing – we would lay our head in her lap and we would all swing –not many words were exchanged we would just listen to the birds singing – hear the swing’s old chains creak – and she would tickle our faces with her perfectly manicured nails (that she did herself I should add). We would lie there for hours – or it felt like hours when I was 9 years old – she loved us well. We would then run off and play until dark and return at dinner time to an amazing home cooked meal. Only Nanny could make any vegetable taste like dessert and you haven’t had dessert until you had her melt in your mouth pound cake. Memories there are many…

On those summer visits we always went to the local church on Sunday – New Hope United Methodist Church. For some reason as I child I thought that was such a big church – tall ceilings, lots of adults I didn’t know, and I would stand really close to my grandmother. As I entered this same church a week ago for her funeral I realized how small that church actually is – how in my mind as a child things seemed so grand and big. The reality is the church is quite simple and still very familiar – even 30 years later. I was in this church 10 years ago with my grandmother… she was dressed as a bride. Yes a beautiful bride in her 70s! I remember how excited I was for her – finding love once again in her life – living life to its full potential! That set a standard… love can find you no matter your age. My Nanny loved well. She loved her boys – they were her heart. She again set the standard – love your children – love them well.

I think of my grandmother’s legacy as she left this world… a legacy of love, strength, simplicity, and grace. May I never forget the love she poured abundantly on her family – she lived out the message of “love one another as our Heavenly Father loves us.” To me that verse was my precious Nanny - I will miss her.

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wrench like me…I once was lost but now I’m found…was blind but now I see.

Snow in Alabama....

What a great day - snow on the ground, staying warm inside with a cup of coffee and chocolate and two happy children. Don't call DHR but I took Eli outside to take a few pictures - yes I realize he doesn't have a jacket on but he didn't mind! Sydney Kate had her friend Abby over this morning and they played in the snow and played barbies all morning - so Mommy got some alone time to just be quiet - much needed! Enjoy the pics.

Mid 30's here I come....

It's official - I'm pretty sure 34 years old = Mid 30 range. No more saying I just turned 30 (like you just left the 20's) - No more saying I'm in my early 30's. Nope I'm in the middle...and in another year or so I'll be crossing over the land into late 30's. I've noticed lately that I've been thinking of things that have never crossed my mind before - for example - I've found myself in the drugstore perusing the wrinkle cream section. One day I looked in the mirror and noticed lines on the side of my eyes! It could have been a sleepless night with an infant that caused these little lines or the more likely cause is I'm getting older!

I'm not sure I believe the hype of the old saying "You get wiser as you get older" - many days it just seems I'm slipping farther into the abyss of conformity... its easy - it doesn't take much brain power to do it - no one will think I'm weird - I'm tired. All the many excuses to remain in the comfort of what I know and too afraid to risk because failure looms on the other side. This has been in my thoughts all year and I do believe God keeps bringing it up in my life for a reason. Anytime I'm alone and all is silent (which is a rare event in my life these days) - God begins to show me how truly fearful I have been to step out of my warm comfy place. I was reading today in my new Brennan Manning Book (Souvenirs of Solitude) about this very idea of failure. Brennan writes, " Each of us pays a heavy price for our fear of falling flat on our faces. It assures the progressive narrowing of our personalities and prevents exploration and experimentation. As we get older, we do only the things we do well. There is no growth in Christ Jesus without some difficulty and fumbling. If we are going to keep on growing, we must keep on risking failure throughout our lives."

Wow - I'm so challenged by those words and I feel like a scared little child when I think about "risking failure". My mind immediately goes please Lord don't let me be a failure as a mother, please don't let me fail as a wife, and please don't let hardship interfere with me looking good to the outside world. Those thoughts are so absurd - so lifeless - so empty and if the truth be known I fail at these things hourly - the difference might be NO ONE really Knows! Ha! Not unless you are secretly hiding in my house somewhere.

So here's to year 34 - may you be dependent enough on Jesus to live fully -to do away with laziness, looking good, feeling good, and snuggling up to a boring existence where you don't risk - experiment - and love fully.

Here's a prayer written by Nikos Kazantzakis:
I am a bow in your hands, Lord.
Draw me, lest I rot.
Do not overdraw me, Lord. I shall break.
Overdraw me, Lord, and who cares if I break?

Cruising in my 5.0 Pink Mustang...

I have yet to upload my photos from Christmas but here are two that I took with my phone. As you see our little girl is now driving a pink Mustang - she speeds around here like she's been driving for years. I don't have time to write a post - packing for a night away (first night away from our boy). Heading to Atlanta tomorrow to cheer on the Tennessee Vols in the Chick-fil-a Bowl. We'll be bringing in the New Year at the Georgia Dome. Note to all readers - I am only a Tennessee fan when they are not playing the University of Alabama. It makes my husband happy to see me wearing orange so I concede for his benefit. Anyway, when we return I'll try to do a better Christmas post. Love to all!

My two little Christmas helpers...

Okay Eli didn't really help decorate for Christmas but he supervised. I just loved this picture - Sydney Kate was so excited about putting up the Christmas tree and her excitement was contagious for us all. A couple of Sydney Kate quotes lately:

" Mom did you know baby Jesus laying in hay is TRUE!"
" Hey mom I know a funny choke" you mean Joke my sweet girl
" I'm older now and turtle necks don't make me jag anymore" - some would say gag

I love my children.....

Thanksgiving...

Holidays for everyone can be kind of crazy but I have to say holidays with divorced parents can bring on a whole new kind of craziness. Both Todd and I have divorced parents which means we have 4 sets of parents (that's seven grandparents) to visit on any given holiday. In the beginning of our marriage we visited all the families in one holiday weekend! Talk about tired - we were worn out. So when Sydney Kate came into our lives we decided we just couldn't do it all and decided we could only do two families at a time. This year we spent the Thanksgiving weekend with my mom and dad. We had a great time - and you couldn't get more diversity if you tried! With my mom we braved Black friday in Atlanta and took the girls to the American Girl doll store. Amazingly it wasn't too crowded (God heard my prayers). The girls loved it! We had lunch in the bistro and then the dolls got their hair done in the salon. We finished off the trip with matching t-shirts for the girls and their dolls. Thanks Mom for a great trip! We then headed to my Dad's farm in Boaz, Alabama. The girls got a hay ride around the farm to see all the animals - we went fishing - fed the catfish, chickens, and the ducks. The highlight was ending our day roasting marshmellows and loving on Bubba (Dad's boxer). A great weekend had by all! I am very thankful for my family - it might be crazy to visit so many grandparents but its amazing how loved you feel when you have 7 parents/grandparents to love on you.

I'll be there late - trust me...

Seriously, this is my new major problem - I'm always late! My time management issues run deep - to get 3 people dressed and out the door in a reasonable amount of time seems almost impossible most mornings. I have noticed my children always look really cute - dressed nice - hair fixed - etc. However I'm looking HORRIBLE these days. I just throw on the same jeans almost everyday and hope there is a shirt halfway ironed in the closet. How does it all get done? Clean the house, go to the grocery store, wash clothes, feed the baby, color with the 4 year old, work, kiss your husband, email, and finally fall asleep at midnight! Is this the life we all dreamed about when we were single? Nobody warned us and even if they did I know I wasn't listening. I wouldn't trade my crazy life but sometimes I'm convinced I'll always be the mom who never gets it all together - well I think that's where God wants us anyway. I'm glad He accepts me as I am - wrinkled shirt and all!

A couple of blog worthy events...
1- Pumpkin Patch with good friends
2- My boy has the best smile ever!
3- My four year old daughter just asked me for a Snuggie for Christmas. Wow! I think Santa can make that happen... a blanket with sleeves is so practical for a 4 year old.
4- Had the flu over the weekend - took Eli to the doctor today because he was coughing. Thank God he does not have the flu but since I had it and he's coughing he is now on Tamiflu. I am terrified of him getting the flu this season!
5- Eli's best friend was just born - Ashley had a baby boy last week. Welcome to the world Harry!

My 9 month old - Oh I mean 11 week old...

Okay take a good look at those rolls - it takes hard work to get rolls like that and Eli has been perfecting those rolls for 2.5 months now. Yes people my little big guy is weighing in at 15 pounds - and really I haven't weighed him in a few days so he might even be up to 16 lbs. Apparently breast feeding is going well? Eli is an amazing little baby. He is so content and happy - we are getting lots of smiles and little sounds now. It is the best thing to look at your little one and get a big toothless grin! Priceless!! Eli is sleeping through the night most nights - last night it was from 11pm to 7am. They say bigger babies sleep better and I guess I believe them.

So If you need to squeeze a big, fluffy, round and happy baby come on over.... he is the perfect size to squeeze and kiss!!

The Ervin cousins...

We went to Chattanooga last weekend - based on tradition we always try to get a picture of all the cousins together. This is little Eli's first cousin picture. Aren't they all so cute!

Future Soccer Star?

Okay maybe she's not the star of the team but she's for sure the prettiest! And the only girl. During her second game I was telling her to try to kick the ball in net - she informed me "Mom I'm trying but they keep taking it away - and THAT'S NOT VERY NICE!" Yea, I see your point... okay you can play basketball instead - I know the rules of that game.